5 to 15 years

do you remember when you were young, as a child, mum and dad will ask you to go to bed by 10pm? i remember i will complain, wanting to stay up, wanting to be awake longer.

at the age of 19 now, i no longer need to obey a curfew. i can stay up as late as i want, go anywhere, do pretty much anything.

life seemed so exciting each day when we were young. each morning when i wake up, sure i will complain a little but when i am up, the day begins to form around me.

despite having all that freedom now, i realize how much i miss having my parents and my brother around me. the truth is, a family will separate, the question is only when. i think it was july 2009 i first felt how different life would be when a family member leaves. my brother left to study in singapore to pursue a better education. i was, and am very very proud of him. some people will joke and say, 'hey, your brother looks better than you!', and i say, 'why yes he does. i love him so much and i am very glad for him!' do i feel jealous? honestly, a little. but i can tell you that I love him so much, I am willing to give my life to see that man live.

nowadays, my parents are in china, i am in kl, my brother is in singapore. i haven't met my family together since chinese new year, and that was for about a week. each time i do anything in my hostel here, it would remind me of how much i miss them. laundry, food, sleep, study, playing. anything. i will be telling myself, how i wish i can eat some of mum's food. how i wish i can sleep in my own bed. how i wish i can talk and joke around with my dad. how i wish i can play with my brother. but this is life. one day, we will replace our parents, and one day we will be replaced.

the question is when the time comes, will you weep with regret, or will you weep with sadness. there is a huge difference.

the date was March 17 2006. one of my friend had passed away when we were 15. he was one of my closest friends, and i remember that when i first hear the news, i didn't react. just 4 hours ago i was joking and talking with him. i remember going back to my room and then i wept. i wept with regret because as much as we have fun, there were so many more things i wanted to do with him. i remember seeing him in the coffin a few days later, and i bowed to his parents, and that his dad held my hand. he said, 'Cal Vin yea?', and he wept. that's all he said, but when i saw him wept it was the most agonizing thing i have ever seen in my life. my friend's mum was on a wheelchair and was crying and shouting his name.

have u noticed how short life is? if you are close to 20, assuming you live up to 80, you have lived a quarter of your life. for those of you who have laptops, you used 25% of your battery life. do you think the 75% will last long?

i always do this calculation in my head. do it for your own parents. my parents will be 50 within 2 years. assuming they live up to 80, they have 30 years

left. each day they will sleep about 8 hours. 8 over 24 is 1/3, therefore 10 years of the 30 years they will be sleeping, which means they will be concious for 20 years. you won't be there all the time with your parents because you will be studying, or even working. that would leave about 5 to 15 years of time left with them depending if you live with them.

5 to 15 years. I am 19 years old, and I can tell you that 19 years passes so fast. cliche, but true. and yet we still complain, scold, mock our parents. i am not saying we can't do that at all. we are humans, we will do those things. but do you want to replace them knowing you did your best to cherish the times you had with them, or do you want to replace them with regret?

the next time you see your mum cook, take a second to say thanks for cooking mum, or i love your cooking mum. the next time you see your dad come home from work, take a second to ask do you want water dad, or take a rest dad. because it might take a lot of courage to say them, but it will make them feel so happy.

love and hate is what keeps people going at each other. both can run out, but your family's love will not run out.

vA1et