vA!et

2010-11-15T00:54:00.000-08:00

I am sorry

Writing about

2010-09-13T11:03:00.000-07:00

Suppose someone gave you a pen -- a sealed, solid coloured pen.

You couldn't see how much ink it had. it might run dry after the first few tentative words or last just long enough to create a mesterpiece or several, that would last forever and make a difference in the scheme of things. you dont know before you begin.

Under the rules of the game, you really never know. you have to take a chance!

Actually, no rule of the game states you MUST do anything. Instead of picking up and using the pen, you could leave it on a shelf or in a drawr where it will dry up, unused.

But if you do decide to use it, what would you do with it? how would you play the game?

Would you plan and plan before you ever wrote a word? Would your plans be so extensive that you never even got to the writing?

Or would you take the pen in hand, plunge right in and just do it, struggling to keep up with the twists and turns of the torrents of words that take you where they take you?

Would you write cautiously and carefully, as if the pen might run dry the next moment, or would you pretend or believe (or pretend to believe) that the pen will write forever and proceed accordingly?

And of what would you write : of love? hate? fun? misery? life? death? nothing? everything?

Would you write just to please yourself? or others? or yourself by writing for others?

Would your strokes be tremblingly timid or brilliantly bold? Fancy with a flourish or plain?

Would you even write? once you have the pen, no rule says you have tow rite. would you sketch? scribble? doodle or draw?

Would you stay in or on the lines, or see no lines at all even if they were there? or are they?

There's alot to think about here, isn't there?

Now, suppose someone gave you a life...

Invictus

2010-09-09T01:39:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I blogged. I guess blogging is a channel for me to express my built up inner feelings, therefore I don't always blog...

I just watched a movie yesterday. Invictus. A movie with a blend of the aftermath of apartheid and rugby in South Africa. What struck me the most was the poem Invictus. Nelson Mandela was in jail, on an island for 27 years. His life was horrible, and he had every reason to give up on anything to achieve. However it was Invictus that kept him going.

I won't recite the whole poem here, but just the last two lines.

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

Two simple lines with simple words. It got Mandela through the 27 years.

Following his election as president, he wanted to build a 'rainbow nation', where white and black South Africans will live in harmony. He suffered for 27 years and yet he was willing to forgive the white people who put him in jail and seek their help in rebuilding the country. That is a very respectable attitude.

I won't go into the details of the movie. The thought that the movie left me was 'If someone suffered for 27 years and yet was willing to forgive and fight for a better life, what gives me the right to hold grudges and give up on anyone and anything?'

The person I look up to will always be my father. Nelson Mandela is a close second.

Seek inspiration from within yourself. Be inspiration.

Past, Present, Future of EHOME

2010-08-20T00:19:00.000-07:00

This is a Dota post so, if you have zero interest no point reading.

I posted this on Playdota.com! Go support me thanks!

http://www.playdota.com/forums/294422/past-present-future--ehome/

Anyways.

EHOME is without a doubt China's most historical Dota team. Its history is full of ups and downs, with its highs such as winning WCG in a few years back, SMM in 08 (not sure about the year), ESWC in 2010.

With all these honors, the question is, how does EHOME stay at the top? They don't.

What people unfamiliar with EHOME is that it has been through so much struggles throughout their history. EHOME used to have the best possible team ever. Seriously.

EHOME.2009

EHOME.DC

EHOME.SNOY

EHOME.longdd

EHOME.GK

Some new to the Dota scene might wonder, who are some of these people? Well I can assure you that if you ask the Chinese people, they will know who are these gods.

In fact, several are still active today. Longdd is without a doubt China's double edge blade. When he is great, he is unstoppable. One can recall how he will be able to farm up his DK in seemingly impossible games, and turn the tide completely. There is of course his POTM. I recall games where he will roam and his arrows will terrorize the enemies.

Who can forget GK, the god of beastmaster. Armed with his ever perceptive ganking abilities he will penetrate the defenses of enemies and destroy their defense strategies. Some might argue that it is EHOME.X!!! (a player from a later era) that started the whole Lion frenzy, but it was GK that discovered the potential of Lion. His thoughts are still heard as he occasionally blogs about his thoughts about the Dota scene.

When we talk about Snoy, or affectionately referred to as Sony by the Chinese, one can never forget his Bristleback. He basically single handedly won WCG08 with this hero, and showcased his insane positioning. Another player FearDarkness also had much success with the hero, and it is hard to argue who is better. But the ganking abilities that Snoy provide with his Ogre Magi as well as his great Viper was certainly inspirational.

I am sure many of you are familiar with 2009. He was the captain of the extremely successful lgd.sGty, and he discovered talents such as ZSMJ and YYF. However, it is his previous years in EHOME that made him worshipped by players. Back in those days, 2009 was known for his love for the Hand of Midas when playing SF. I do not know much about him back then, but I am sure his recent successes such as SMM09 and more has made him internationally known.

Lastly, we have DC. If there was a support god, it would be fought between DC, dgc and 820. If there was a talking contest, DC will rape them. His influence as a coach for EHOME in ESWC2010 is undeniable, resulting in players from LOST referring to DC as a 'cheatbook'. I will not discuss the issue here, but the point being made is his deep knowledge of Dota. His supporting plays for the other players has enabled the others to shine. Not forgetting his trademark Weaver, he shows that he can succeed any role in the team. But having him as a support was one main reason to the success of EHOME back then. I would go so far as to say that any of the other players could be replaced, but replacing DC will simply destroy their foundation. (This statement is not intended to insult the other great players, but to highlight DC's influence)

The success of this team was then shattered with several issues. Following the retirement of 2009 due to his studies, EHOME was in jeopardy. Players began to discuss possible replacements, and it was obvious that players 820 and 357 from CANT, another successful Chinese team can fill in the gap. EHOME have been huge admirers of both players. However, with only 5 spots and 6 players, one would have to leave. It was Longdd that left and went to CANT.

From this point onwards, EHOME's faced much setbacks. They no longer had the same 'aura'. EHOME was defeatable, and opponents were able to tear them apart. EHOME was unable to function like it used to, and the retirement of DC and SNOY certainly did not help.

During this period of time, there were many changes to the team roster and the team added two players that were unknown: Dai and Ronaldo. Both players had great success and are extremely famous in another popular Chinese game with some similarities to Dota, 真三. It was predicted that they would be hugely successful in Dota.

However that was not the case. EHOME continued to play horribly, and after a short period of time, EHOME and ronaldo went separate ways. Dai was widely expected to leave, but it was decided to give him a second chance. A famous supporter Dgc from former rivals 7L (disbanded) then completed the roster of EHOME: 820, 357, GK, Dai, Dgc.

EHOME began to find some of their lost momentum, and began to show improvement. Despite this, Dgc left the team. Many commented that despite EHOME improving, Dgc was unable to fit in with the team well enough. It was during this period of time that the last member of the 'golden era' GK decided to retire. Many was saddened by this news as he represents the last link to their former glory. EHOME is set to be an entirely new team from the past.

After some time, EHOME was finally complete with these five players:

EHOME.820 (Carry)

EHOME.357 (Support)

EHOME.Dai (2nd Carry)

EHOME.King_J (Gank/Support)

EHOME.Burning (Gank/Support)

Many will know all of these players because they are the champions of the recent ESWC2010. However, when this team was just formed they were not successful at all. They were faced with criticism by many, even from supporters from EHOME. Dai was deemed to be not showing potential at all just like ronaldo previously did not. King_J was said to be a mediocre player, and Burning criticized as lacking synergy with the team and lacking map awareness.

Furthermore, the success of lgd.sGty by former EHOME player 2009 who has made a comeback further pressured EHOME and many supporters changed sides. During that time, lgd was seemingly invincible, and ESWC qualifiers were coming up.

EHOME decided to take a gamble. Player roles were changed.

820 changed from carry to support.

357 changed from support to semi-carry/gank.

Dai changed from 2nd carry to gank.

King_J changed from gank/support to semi-carry/gank.

Burning changed from gank/support to carry.

The change was deemed to be an outrage. 820 was one of the best carries in China, and yet he is now a supporter? All players with different roles were said to be doomed, much less qualify for ESWC. Several weeks before the qualifiers, EHOME continued to experience inconsistent performances, but not being able to beat lgd.sGty. When they did, it was not convincing to the public.

It was during ESWC qualifiers that we see a resurgent EHOME. People began to see EHOME being able to fight as a team after so long, and there were glimpses of the previous successful era. During the first game in the qualifier against the tough CH (With former EHOME players Longdd and Dgc), EHOME was able to comeback against an owning SF by SF god Pis and the crazy farmed Void by Longdd. I would recommend this replay as it shows how EHOME's players played with synergy whilst at a disadvantage, were able to work as a team to counter the strategies by CH.

Following the win over CH, they faced their biggest enemies, lgd.sGty. lgd was widely tipped to win the qualifiers and represent China in ESWC. However that was not the case. The game was not very memorable for me, but I recall how I began to see EHOME in a new perspective. EHOME was no longer the lost team in the shadow of their past glory.

EHOME won the qualifiers, and went on to the ESWC. Famous players and teams attended, and I can say without a doubt that EHOME was the show. Without losing a single set, EHOME clinched the championship. It was at that moment that people began to realize just how strong Chinese Dota is.

Throughout this whole history, another person that is worth mentioning is EHOME.71, the manager. He has been through thick and thin with EHOME, and is definitely a driving force. His spirit is very much respected.

I talk about this journey not as a means to insult anyone, or to say China/Asia Dota is better, but to show you how despite so many setbacks during their journey, EHOME was able to learn and fight to improve. EHOME is no longer trapped in the past, but living in the present.

That's all for now, I will discuss about other Chinese teams 7L and cD in future posts.

I would like to thank Tiramisu, Pwned, Hope for all the great times we had.

The Adventure of You and the Treasure

2010-06-15T04:24:00.001-07:00

One day, you reach the secret dark forest of a secret land, which some of you will probably never reach. You take out your sword and dash into a hole you found to retrieve treasure. In the hole you took out your sword and you began to thrust hard to the ground. Oh it is so hard to penetrate the ground.

As you continued to thrust, you began to find that you have reached the treasure. It is locked in a case. In order to break open the lock, you take out your gun, and you want to shoot it. But right before you shoot it, you realize one thing. The bullet might ricochet and damage you. Quickly, you kept your gun and ran out of the hole to get some armor for protection.

However, right when you are out of the hole, you find another hunter. You notice that this person has a much larger and thicker sword and is wearing armor. It is not a sword, it is more like a iron rod. He begins to swing his rod towards you. To protect yourself, you use you sword, and when both sword and rod touch, you feel an immense pressure.

However, as you were fighting, you noticed that the guy has a weakness. He has a hole in his armor at the back. Knowing that you cannot hold it anymore, you decide to change your strategy. You decided to backdoor the guy. Very swiftly, you pounced to his back and you took out your gun and BAM. Your bullet penetrated him from the back, right through his protection.
'Ahh..ahh..ouch...' He moaned.
'Wooo!!! In your face!' You yelled.

You have survived this swordfight, and beat the enemy. You took his protection, and wore it. It didn't matter that it was slimy, but you want it anyway. Quickly you left him, and used your remaining strength to get back into the hole, and you reloaded your gun, and shot the lock. BAM. Inside the treasure chest, you realize that there is a note.

The note says,
"Thou hast wasted time in thy quest for nothing, for I, the one that thou just slain was a mere distraction in thy mission. Knowst that true treasure is thy time. Thus the saying, treasure thy time."

Shocked and furious, you screamed. You took your sword and you broke it in half. The pain of all this, all for a note. You close your eyes, and you sit down in despair. You sat for some time, and as you open your eyes, you realize that what was in the note was indeed true. Cruel, but true. An important treasure has been recovered. One that is simple, yet not simple.

Slowly, you stood up. You realize that you have a shorter sword, an gun with blanks. But you have learnt that nothing can stop you to achieve your goals. All you need is to manage your timing, and that the next time you will just shoot and you will not miss. Slowly, you walked out of the hole. Perhaps one day, you will find another forest, with another hole, with another treasure. And this time, you will know to wear protection, and to shoot quickly.

Looking at the mirror

2010-06-10T08:44:00.000-07:00

There are sometimes when I look at the mirror, and I think to myself 'Hey I am good looking', or 'Wow I look bad'.

But there are times when I will stare into my eyes. Just stare into those dark eyes. Many thoughts will breeze through my mind, but one that strikes me the most is how disappointed those eyes look.

My life has been filled with ups and downs. Each time I fall, I will come back up. And then I will fall again. There comes a point when I was so sick of falling down so hard, that I no longer bothered to get back up.

Yesterday I was struck so hard, that I just broke down. A friend of mine told me that I have this pattern of losing the fire within me, that I would start brightly but might not even finish. He told me that he was afraid that in the future, the same would happen to me for my studies, my job, my marriage, my life.

I was shocked instantly. What he said, I can imagine happening. I began to think about how I am living my life now, and the truth is that my fire is dying.

At the start of university I was so pumped up about proving my worth; at the start of SCP I was so excited about establishing my skills; at the start of camp I was so excited to showcase my skills as a Program Director. As of now I have skipped so many classes that I am behind in all my studies; I begun to feel that SCP was becoming a burden about 4 weeks back, and each class since then I no longer felt the passion that I had to make the classes great; after the second day of camp I was disappointed with the progress of many things that I began to just complain but no longer taking action.

I held myself together until I was alone with him before I cried. I could not believe how I have drifted apart. It got so bad that I would stay up so late with no purpose until 8am before I go to sleep till around 6pm. I no longer wanted to sleep and wake up because I felt that there was no purpose for me to do so.

But I do have purposes. I cried for a reason. I was upset, disappointed. How could someone with my potential just give up like this? I know that I can be great and to share so many things to the world.

I was hoping for a solution from my friend, but he said that he can't show me what to do, but that all I can do is to remember how I felt when I reflect back. All I can do is to know that there is a point of time when enough is enough.

Enough is enough.

I want to wake up with a purpose, a direction, a goal. Here is one that I will start to work for. My goal is to score High Distinction for my Business Law, Business Statistics and Management exams which are on the 16th, 21st and 23rd of this month.

I can tell you that it is very challenging. I have 3 months worth of work to revise, and more than 1 month's work I have not even seen before because of me skipping classes and lectures.

I can also tell you that if there is a time to change, this is it. All I ask for myself is to do my best and fight for what I know I am capable of.

Another thing that struck me is that my friend told me that he will still look at me as the same person with the same trust upon my abilities even after yesterday. But that one day, if I continue to go down and not back up, even he will have to leave me. I will not let that happen honestly because I don't want to lose him, but more because I know that I have what it takes to accomplish anything.

As I end this, I begin to wonder when I wake up tomorrow and look in the mirror, who will I look at? All I know is that I will see the eye of the tiger.

'Baby' by Justin Bieber

2010-05-20T06:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Diary,

Today I caught myself singing along the song 'Baby' by Justine Barbie. I have to admit, the tune is catchy, the rhythm is catchy, the voice reminds me of Elton John when he was 5 and knew for sure he was gay after getting an erection from looking at his dad. Yes, Justine sounds like 5 year old gay Elton.

But honestly why do so many of us make fun of Justin Bieber? He is a kid doing his best to perform, perhaps we should give him some credit. No one should judge a person. So what if Justin take estrogen pills? That doesn't mean he doesn't have balls for trying! Oh wait.

Wow, I didn't realize how hard it is to defend you Justine.

That reminds me, this season of American Idol is proving to be very close to the lives of Americans. The top three is a handsome farmer/bartender, a soccer mum, a David Cook wannabe.

Not saying they aren't good, but don't you just miss the years when we had David Archuleta/David Cook, Adam Lambert/Kris Allen, Jordin Sparks/the dude that was the runner up. Just saying, big gap.

As for assignments wise, I have a 2000+ words Management essay and a Stats quiz to complete by tomorrow.

I guess 'Baby, Baby, Baby, No' can keep me awake until the morning.

Love,

Cal Vin

chan jing vin

2010-05-18T07:40:00.000-07:00

i remember how one time, a friend of mine said to me "hahaha your brother is so much better looking than you!"

my instant response was "so what? i love my brother, and you can fuck off."

i have heard this many times from people, how my brother is better looking than me and all. several things that is also true is that he is better in sports than me, he is better in academics than me, he is in fact a better son than me as well. he is, in every way, better than me!

some might wonder why did i just write that. the truth is that i am damn proud of my brother because of that. ever since young i have had more 'talent' i would say. i can play the piano better simply because of raw talent, i can ace math tests because i can see the relationships between numbers and all etc.

but then raw talent is just 1% of success. 99% is hard work.

today, things have turned around. i still am better in piano, but many has changed. i used to remember him as this very active, cute little brother that looks up to his older brother, me. but now, it is i that look up to him.

studying alone in singapore, he has shown maturity way above my level. when i look at him nowadays, i no longer see my younger brother, i see a young adult with characteristics that i want to work towards.

am i jealous of how he is better than me? honestly, yes. but more honestly, i love him so much that i am more proud than jealous. if there was one person i can see myself dying for, it is him. i won't die for my parents because i know that they will want me to have my life because they gave me this precious gift. dying for my brother is sacrificing for a better person who will lead a better life =)

i feel very emotional now because as i am writing this, my brother is growing up. the brother i used to play with so much is now a grown up. my duties as the elder brother is starting to clear up, and i am beginning to wonder what other purpose does my life have.

lately i am very lost. i don't know what i am doing, nor what i am moving towards. all i know is, each day passes by and seems to be wasted. and just like this, i have lived 19 years of life.

but as i write, i realize that eventhough i do not know what i am to myself, i know that i am an elder brother to him. and as long as what i do will make his life better, i will do it because my life's meaning right now is my family.

i know it has been 8 days past your birthday, but if you are reading this, happy birthday chan jing vin, i love you.

your brother that looks up to you,

chan cal vin

5 to 15 years

2010-04-30T07:41:00.000-07:00

do you remember when you were young, as a child, mum and dad will ask you to go to bed by 10pm? i remember i will complain, wanting to stay up, wanting to be awake longer.

at the age of 19 now, i no longer need to obey a curfew. i can stay up as late as i want, go anywhere, do pretty much anything.

life seemed so exciting each day when we were young. each morning when i wake up, sure i will complain a little but when i am up, the day begins to form around me.

despite having all that freedom now, i realize how much i miss having my parents and my brother around me. the truth is, a family will separate, the question is only when. i think it was july 2009 i first felt how different life would be when a family member leaves. my brother left to study in singapore to pursue a better education. i was, and am very very proud of him. some people will joke and say, 'hey, your brother looks better than you!', and i say, 'why yes he does. i love him so much and i am very glad for him!' do i feel jealous? honestly, a little. but i can tell you that I love him so much, I am willing to give my life to see that man live.

nowadays, my parents are in china, i am in kl, my brother is in singapore. i haven't met my family together since chinese new year, and that was for about a week. each time i do anything in my hostel here, it would remind me of how much i miss them. laundry, food, sleep, study, playing. anything. i will be telling myself, how i wish i can eat some of mum's food. how i wish i can sleep in my own bed. how i wish i can talk and joke around with my dad. how i wish i can play with my brother. but this is life. one day, we will replace our parents, and one day we will be replaced.

the question is when the time comes, will you weep with regret, or will you weep with sadness. there is a huge difference.

the date was March 17 2006. one of my friend had passed away when we were 15. he was one of my closest friends, and i remember that when i first hear the news, i didn't react. just 4 hours ago i was joking and talking with him. i remember going back to my room and then i wept. i wept with regret because as much as we have fun, there were so many more things i wanted to do with him. i remember seeing him in the coffin a few days later, and i bowed to his parents, and that his dad held my hand. he said, 'Cal Vin yea?', and he wept. that's all he said, but when i saw him wept it was the most agonizing thing i have ever seen in my life. my friend's mum was on a wheelchair and was crying and shouting his name.

have u noticed how short life is? if you are close to 20, assuming you live up to 80, you have lived a quarter of your life. for those of you who have laptops, you used 25% of your battery life. do you think the 75% will last long?

i always do this calculation in my head. do it for your own parents. my parents will be 50 within 2 years. assuming they live up to 80, they have 30 years

left. each day they will sleep about 8 hours. 8 over 24 is 1/3, therefore 10 years of the 30 years they will be sleeping, which means they will be concious for 20 years. you won't be there all the time with your parents because you will be studying, or even working. that would leave about 5 to 15 years of time left with them depending if you live with them.

5 to 15 years. I am 19 years old, and I can tell you that 19 years passes so fast. cliche, but true. and yet we still complain, scold, mock our parents. i am not saying we can't do that at all. we are humans, we will do those things. but do you want to replace them knowing you did your best to cherish the times you had with them, or do you want to replace them with regret?

the next time you see your mum cook, take a second to say thanks for cooking mum, or i love your cooking mum. the next time you see your dad come home from work, take a second to ask do you want water dad, or take a rest dad. because it might take a lot of courage to say them, but it will make them feel so happy.

love and hate is what keeps people going at each other. both can run out, but your family's love will not run out.

vA1et

respect

2010-04-30T06:20:00.000-07:00

i watched ip man 2 today with bryan. it was a good movie, and by the end of it i was full of hatred for the westerners. i have had conversations with racist westerners and say what you want, it does not feel good. after watching the movie i instantly felt so pissed over the fact that in the past i have let them talk to me this way, that i wanted to just talk to them once again and tell them to f off.

i did once, to a certain classmate, whom shall be known as John (not real name la). He had always looked down on asians, being sarcastic to us. so one day during a basketball game he knocked me down hard and basically laughed. i stood up and said 'what the fuck? you think you can just fuck around with us asians like that?' the approach was harsh, and maybe i could have been more subtle and control my emotions but there comes a time whereby enough is enough. he reacted by saying how it was a joke and all and i said i have a limit. eventually we both just left. no fight, because i believe fighting is for losers. plus i will die if i fight him T.T

from then on, we never saw eye to eye. each time we see each other, there was a cold barrier between us. i stood up for myself, and i thought, hey i finally showed them westerners that we asians are just as good as you.

after the fight ip man said something that really touched me. he said,

"we people can have different statuses, but i believe we all have the same integrity and dignity"

it was then that i understood that, it is not about standing up for yourself in a angry, forthcoming way. it is about standing up for yourself whilst showing respect for others. if someone is looking down upon you, and you choose to look down upon the person, then you are the same.

but honestly speaking, if someone were to look down upon me i will let it be. because it is not words that prove people wrong. talk is cheap. it is only when you take action and show the person your worth that you will gain the person's respect.

sounds very serious, but i guess it is supposed to be serious...

i will go light on my next post then haha.

vA1et

in control

2010-04-28T08:54:00.000-07:00

woke up at 11. after eating chicken rice from white, i went back feeling giddy. halfway doing my presentation slides, i felt sick so i went to the washroom.

out of nowhere i puked! parts of the chicken swam around the toilet bowl. after like 5 minutes. i puked again ^_^

i guess the point i am trying to make here of utter importance is that chicken rice at white is freaking awesome.<3

-important part-

watched kick-ass today.

i realize how our actions and inactions can alter the outcomes of not only our lives, but others' as well. take the movie kick-ass. kick-ass wanted to be a superhero, and his actions certainly changed his own life. it made him got a hot chick, find self-esteem and realize he can be in control of his life. but the course of his actions caused Big Daddy to die, and Hit Girl to be an orphan.

(these superhero names are pretty classy. akltg ppl, we have Big Momma xD)

the point here is that. that chick. hot.

taking in control of our lives. sure we might not get what we want all the time. but that is the beauty of being in control. you can control how you react.

sure there will be collateral damages during the journey of you achieving what you want.

e.g. coach training. i remember last time me fighting my ass off to get to coach in camps. i achieve my goal, someone else loses that spot.

next time we say how 'life is shit' 'i never get anything'. shut up and think about what you have. you have life when many others have lost it. whether you want to do drugs and get high all the time or work towards something that you yearn for or watch Glee all the time (HELL YES. WHOS WITH ME) it is up to you. you are in control :)

aite new episode of glee is out. chowww.

vA1et

i'm back

2010-04-27T13:00:00.000-07:00

i know i haven't been myself lately, but all this has changed.

u fucking immature little bitch. u have been looking down on me, using me. u know what, thanks. i am so pumped right now, i swear to you i am going to shock the fuck out of you. so thanks for awakening my eye of the tiger.

i am returning to my blog because i feel that it is time for me to really change. change to who i was, who i can be, who i will be. it is time for me to prove to myself everything.

also, i feel that blogging is a better way to express my feelings. love me or hate me, thank you. you motivate me either way.

to all of you, if someone looks down at you, discourages you, manipulates you etc. i am sorry for you. but take this rage within you and blast it upon them by proving to yourself your own worthiness. past does not equal to the future. imagine how sweet it will be when you finally achieve your potential and surpass their standards, and they begin to look up to you for solutions, answers etc. then you can say:

Thanks for motivating me. Now you can fuck off ^_^

that is how awesome life is. be the change you want.

vA1et

getting back on track

2009-02-04T02:06:00.000-08:00

the 3 week of school in january i have to admit was a pain in the ass... not only did we continue to get work, we also got feedback from teachers regarding a lot of our assessments/tasks we have in our subjects... so this CNY holiday im gna have some catching up to do...lets have an overview here...
english world lit:
no idea...no comments from house yet...
chinese written tasks:
geez...so much for spending lotsa time on it during the dec holidays...teacher thinks its both shit T.T
math:
omfg 3D lines and spaces, vectors, statistics are three main shits in the syllabus i suck so bad in
chem:
screwed in medicine drugs, organic chem, biochem...+lab reports o.o!!!
physics:
hmmm...doing quite ok...just need to catch up on labs
business:
wow...phillips actually said 'i dun have a problem with ur work at all...' i mean ppl dun often get praises from him lol...BUT...he said the IA was a great dissappointment !&^%&^%!!!

so i guess...this CNY...i have like 1 week to get everything in shape, and it does look pretty daunting...but after doing my weekly plan...seems really like a piece of cake actually =)

vA!et
calvinc

loving it

2009-01-11T06:18:00.000-08:00

calvin the coach

2009-01-08T09:11:00.000-08:00

wow...it has been a month since iag dec 08...time flies...
and thats the problem aint it...just when u begin to enjoy, cherish smth, the end has come.
now how has that got to do with distractions? hmmmm...
since my return to china, i have to admit, i have been soooo motivated and hyped up that everything has been a transformation. i have to admit after previous camps, i had been motivated...at the same time there has always been distractions and i always give in to it.
but this time...there are distractions, and i give in to it too. tat is, when i know i have time. however, with prior knowledge that i require all the time i have, the power to choose lies within my hands. i can choose to give in, or to reframe myself.
i have often caught myself getting distracted by peers, from dota to simply slacking. thus begin the self-coaching methods.
i have often visualized myself as a participant and asking for help from calvin the coach.

calvin the participant:
coach, how can i have the power to stay focused?

calvin the coach:
well, let me ask u this. we talk about choices have consequences. thats right, and i am sure u r a smart person that knows the consequences for your actions. at the same time, u feel there is imbalance within ur heart. now ask urself, wat r ur goals? to top ur school by feb, thats right. do u think u can achieve ur goals whilst distracted all the time? ur a smart person and u know it. very good. now in life we have the power to? choose. and let me ask u, just bcz there is a distraction, are u going to give up??? no! thats right, bcz if you cant, then you? must. calvin, in life right, there will be times when u will face challenges, and u will want to give up to it, but, know that no matter what, u r the most important person in your life. u know ur a champion rite? but if u fail to act like one, does it mean u can suck? yes! u can suck the seed. i know ur a very mature person with a lot of potential, therefore i believe in you to deal with the distractions and turn them into motivations =)

wow...i wrote this in one breath...didnt edit it at all...my reframing is improving! XD
well...this method really works for me, and u know wat, im gna top my school by feb i swear.
aite, im signing off here. whaddddduuppppp XD

calvinc
vA!et

ps: coaches, what time is it???

appreciation for the living crazy ppl

2009-01-05T07:46:00.000-08:00

well...lets get this straight...im not gna say whaddup...forcing myself not to be a sheep say it ...all the coaches say until siao liao...XD
this post is abt appreciation of ppl that have touched me during the iag dec 08 camp...both mentally and physically hehe
in case any of the coaches are wondering why havent i thank u guys earlier, its cz i have been out of internet (f@#king bad experience ppl) when i was in malaysia...only way i can steal some is standing outside starbucks lah...too cheap to buy smth in there XD
but here i m in china...freezingly spreading some love...yeah baby XD

choy yan bra:
wat can i say? the name sounds funny, the person also funny, and the camp rocked with this asskicking pd man. really thankful for his guidance throughout the camp, and for screwing us when we deserved it XD
joey!
wow...really got to know joey much better this time back in m'sia, and this guy is awesome man...i give him keywords (joey's STYLE): reliable, charismatic, eat a lot haha
thanks for everything, thanks for all ur help in answering my questions
keetlam:
wow...first time knowing this dude...i mean...if there is a siao king...this is him...energizer for the coaches, really gives 'wat time is it' a whole new meaning.
aaron:
epic fail lah aaron nair haha. known him when he first started coaching, seen how he grow until the face...lets not get into this now haha. responsible, knowledgeable, brother. thanks
josie:
really appreciate her guidance, help along with the sarcasm hehe. to sum it all up, shes our mum!
kimmy:
wow...run some more!
scary at times hehe but always caring...miss the way she literally shove food down our throats haha
samantha/bryan the giant:
keywords: samantha, chicken bone, teh c peng XD
always there for me, the bad times and the good times and the laughing non-stop for 20 minutes times
natalie han:
wat can i say...3 years ago so cute...3 years later...so cute but more matured XD
if theres a natural born energizer, natalie it is.
ellysha!
wow...from being in the same camp as a participant with her (specky ellysha haha) till now, she grown to this sexy, yummy...i mean the girl whose smile just forces u to smile genuinely =) peace adrian!
tian jun:
slpt with this guy on the same bed twice, both times he keep talking until i dun need to slp liao haha. keywords: mature, brother, lazy, jokes that forces u to laugh even at the worst days
jian sheng:
keywords: mature, muscular, understanding and caring
in the camp so sick still willing to give his best. salute lah
faris:
shyshy no more, this guy evolved into a mature mentor with his vast experience and alertness. but the eyes still cannot open leh hehe
suwee:
if there was a siao queen, su wee will win it HAHA
jk lah bro...ur energy is like...rechargeable automatically...cannot finish one haha
appreciate ur honestly and i hope i answered some of the question u asked me...bet u dun rmbr already haha
gene:
dude...ur forever my b!t@th hehe
jk lah. as my participant, has always been outstanding, as a coach, always dependable and calm. proud to have u as my b!t@th man XD
jiayun:
in truth, i really appreciate this little girl XD for her honesty. anything shes not sure of she will surely ask and i have had the honor of answering some of her questions. thank u for the honor madam hehe
mariaaaaaaaaaaaaa:
wow...during swinging log...i really saw u participating like 200%...i mean...the way u pumped up the supporters was friggin awesome babe XD
really appreciate the way u dedicate urself to the participants.
jonathan:
dude...thanks for everything, starting from the chocolates u bring to camp that we eat in the room to the funny, awesome dancing moves u have hehe. really appreciate ur understanding and honesty to the participants
fiona:
wow...such a small (hehe) coach yet such a big heart! the way u present urself to the participants show ur genuine concern for them and i appreaciate that honesty. and your TTP, man tat was just classic XD keep up the fiona style babe!
hussein:
dude...im angry at u!
for being such a good A coach to me haha. u were always there when i needed u to back me up. i couldnt have asked more, and i really apologize for screwing ur ass really hard some times. but dude speed reading must take out the stopwatch lah! XD
mitch:
if theres anything i learn during lunch is the fact that mitch, u make all of us laugh like non-stop man...i mean...thousand island crabs?! HAHA
claudius:
dude...i know i can always count on u to have fun with man...those lunch times with mitch, aaron, maria and u, omfg...thanks for those laughs that hurts the body so bad.

now i have to be honest here...some of the coaches, i just didnt get a chance to know well, and that is too bad. but u know what, those of u not mentioned, does that mean u suck? yes, u suck the seed, because u make sure that the camp will suckseed, and it did! for that, i truly thank everyone of u crazy unmentioned coaches, thou art mentioned now.

theres one last bigass thank you i want to give, and that has to be for webster that kuku.
to be honest, i regard him probably as the best friend i will ever have. not bcz we are very close, although quite close i suppose hehe, but bcz of the honesty that he gives me every time i ask him anything.
i cant possibly list all the honest feedback he has given me now bcz im freaking tired now haha...but all i can say is, if u want to improve urself, if u want a true friend that gives u the feedback that can be motivating, inspiring, webster is the man for me and for u. i just want to thank u personally here. keywords: honest, responsible, funny, kukubird.

and here i end the appreciation from the chinaboy/sally/sexy hehe
see u all in june.
omfg...cant believe im saying this...
coaches WHADDDUPPPPPP!!!
love,
calvin
PS: wat time is it????????

long time no blog

2008-12-05T07:22:00.000-08:00

i didnt give up on this blog yet!!! haha
things have been going very well over the past week, and exams were surprisingly well though crampped. i have been l4ding and im getting good aiyooo. as for dota...lets just say sometimes we get interested in new stuff XD
sooo...my predicted outcome from my exams =)
english: 5/6
chinese: 5
math: 6
chemistry: 6 (damn...multiple choice =.=)
physics: 6/7!!! XD (not including the HL relativity...that one was gg)
business: 6/7!!! (wtf is promotional mix!!!)
as i look back at the enitre week, i find myself feeling good about the exams. not because i did great in them, but because i had the guts and fire to do my best in every one of them. sure, i didnt study my best, but i sure did my best in the test =)
im really considering quitting the basketball team, not bcz i dun like the team (damnit...busted), but bcz i really wanna focus on my studies. to see noel beating me in chemistry multiple choice really forces me to make a choice of the two below:
1) fucking kill myself
2) study!!! and with minimum distractions
believe it or not, im actually choosing...2 haha. and although i feel like this is an excuse, i know that i will be able to really choose 2 when i go back to malaysia for iag =)
aite, time to pwn some zombies. reloading XD HAHA
calvinc
vA!et =)

exams!!!

2008-12-02T03:11:00.000-08:00

shit

fight

2008-11-29T07:37:00.000-08:00

surprise surprise...the jv bball team lost again haha
kinda hard to imagine us winning actually...o.o i mean our team chemistry is like zero, and everyone is pissed at everyone else. (except me and seong hoon cz hes injured...cant really get pissed at him haha)
there was a time when bball used to be fun u know. a time when me, jack and david tuck in our shirts and pull our pants damn high HAHA...omg tat was really funny and gay XD but joining a team is a time when u realise there can be moments when discipline, teamwork and stepping up individually is needed.
in many ways, its a model of life. we can have fun and really enjoy it, but at times we realise that to succeed in life, we need discipline, teamwork and stepping up individually.
sure, the jv team this year has an unbeatable record of 1 win 6 losses. holy shit...we are like the Thunders! XD
but then again, in the Thunders, there is potential. a young team with the likes of durant, green, watson...its like us teenagers. we are young and full of life and potential, and tats why we need to fight on so that we wont have regrets when we are old and full of problems.
ahhh...im so sick and tired rite now, but i know that i can still fight on. lets own in Dota bitches XD
calvinc
vA!et of the unknown hehe (dont think anyone understands hehe)

to graduate or not to graduate

2008-11-26T23:11:00.000-08:00

obviously i want to graduate!
still...the things that i will miss when i graduate is priceless. the friendships, the gayness, the crazy teachers, activities and the fatass serving food in the canteen...
today mr. house took over english, and he was rather skeptical of our class progress, and makes a lot of sense. we are running out of time.
im running out of time to finish everything i need to in my academics, and im running out of time with my friends, and im running out of time in something else =)
i rmbr how sad i felt when i graduated from my primary school and left malaysia. yet smth doesnt feel rite here...i will miss my frens but...i keep thinking of the possibilities and oppurtunities i could have if i had stayed in malaysia. perhaps everything could have been better.
but one thing i know cant get any better is my gay limit. i mean, the group of friends i have is the gayest shits i will ever have.
david literally cant stop touching me (vice versa XD)
jack doesnt feel anything when i touch his thigh! (i think he likes it aiyooo)
o.o, joel...has an explosive gayness
jianjin is damn gay now, MY is just born to be and look gay
and all hail king of gay, sammy...even im scared of this gayshit...
gna miss all these gayshits and other normal ppl
ahhh...im gna have to go...skul's over lol...
calvinc
vA!et

i wish i never came to china

2008-11-26T07:51:00.000-08:00

not that i dont love some of u ppl, but seriously, malaysia would have been much better. studies, friends, love... ahhh...i give up here.
calvinc
vA!et

quarantine!!!

2008-11-26T03:52:00.000-08:00

shane has been tempting me to watch 'quarantine', a new horror movie that he describes to me as excellent. and he sent me the site to watch the trailer!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4inLY7YmNI
its pretty interesting, and looks to be quite interesting.
but im not going anywhere anytime soon, due to the exams next week!!! we were told of it like one week b4 the exams, and now im piled up with lotsa revision...so i made some plans to make the best out of the situation
1) pray to god, allah, buddha, limbei that next week snow and no school
2) make dr. nixon extremely happy hehe and she cancels it
3) pretend i have aids...damnit cant really pretend! aiyooo
4) keep trying hiro nakamura's eye squeezing time travel power
5) dont revise english, chinese, business. revise math, physics, chemistry
lets see what i should choose
hmmm...tried 1, they said they do not take cash !#@!!*!!!
tried 2, she said smth about her being too big down there
lets skip 3...sensitive issues
no. 4 im working on it damnit...why do they make it so easy on tv!
ahhhh...5...this one seems rather reasonable...
so i guess i will have to choose 5
my god...theres still a chance 4 will work rite?
calvinc
vA!et

the future

2008-11-25T05:55:00.000-08:00

yesterday i slept from 6pm till 6am...ahhh...good times
today im stuck with a pile of hw that are piling up each day, and im getting overwhelmed. yes it is true ladies and gentlemen. unbelivably, a smart, funny, charismatic person like me can be uncertain about my future too.
my dad has been very supportive these days, helping me out in all sorts of problems. he is helping me a lot with the business IA, and i really appreciate him for that. its all up to me now to finish everything and make him proud.
today's my mum's birthday! happy birthday my beautiful, caring, loving mummy! <3 i thank you for all the nagging and caring u gave me and will do my best to make you proud too =)
as for the future, in limbei's own words; its the future, worry about the present.
CRAP EXAMS NEXT WEEK!!!
calvinc
vA!et

the great depression ends

2008-11-21T08:05:00.001-08:00

fuck it. my life rocks. AIYOOOOOO XD
i mean, who can act gayer than me? o shit...go away sammy.
calvinc
vA!et forever

the great depression continues

2008-11-21T01:38:00.000-08:00

fuck it. my life sucks

the great depression

2008-11-20T01:39:00.000-08:00

omfg...i just got demoted from starter to sub in the bball team -.- damn pissed
in fact, all the starters were demoted to subs, whilst team 2 are now the starters for tmr's game against Livingston. Pissed is an understatement. We, the 1st team lost to the 2nd team 6-16. Thats damn embarrassing. I missed 1 shot, 2 layups that i know i shud have made. that would have made the score 12-16. fuck!!! all bcz of me...
lately, things hasnt been going well at all. whether its friendships, relationships, family, work and latest to the list, basketball. im sinking towards the great depression, and falling further behind in my studies.
haiz...i cant get into a state to study... i think im just gna sit around, slp, dota, and continue sinking.
calvinc
vA!et...?

the truth

2008-11-19T03:19:00.001-08:00

no skul today, as there is parent teacher conferences.
although i didnt go in fear of looking at angry teacher faces, i was eager to learn from my parents what the teachers say about me. turns out the truth can hurt you, can make you smile, can make you want more in your life.
mr. macknight has been teaching me for a long time, and has been a mentor and an inspiration. he commented that i have lost the drive that i had when he first met me, the days whereby i was willing to fight.
mr. fowler is another teacher that has known me for a long time, and his comment incredibly was the same, that i have lost the drive i had last time. he commented that i m one of the best students he has and one of his few favourites, and from what i heard, it was genuine concern he has for me.
mr. farrow has mixed reactions about me. the first test i got a 4, whilst the second a 6. he cant judge me as this is his first year teaching me, but he knows for a fact that im potent to achieve, and i need to increase my involvement.
ms. vandelvelde surprised me. she noticed i had lost the drive (again), but that she sees genuine improvement and concern from me upon my math. she also said how much better i can be and is capable of, and she really cares for me.
ms. zhu commented upon how smart i was last time, and how much she knows im capable of. at times i skip her classes, but she also sees how much i can produce verbally, and wants me to produce the same flair in my writing.
mr. daysh was sick -.- haha...
the truth can hurt, can amuse, and can motivate. and truthfully, i feel all.
all i need to do now is to take it and change everything to what it can be.
calvinc
vA!et

2008-11-18T04:34:00.000-08:00

i guess yesterday was a memorable day to write about...i had no freakin idea what i was thinking, to say things so soon. perhaps it was the impatience within me, or perhaps it was the right timing (rightttttt), or perhaps its just too late.
whichever it is, i hope the offer still stands...=)
and even if u dun accept it, we are definitely still what we were =)
hopefully today everything will be alrite...
and no this is not about u david aiyooo...<3 even though i do <3 u
omg that sounded really gay T.T
hmmm...as for today, i think i got every single math question in the test wrong T.T tats just great news considering parent teacher conference is tmr -.-
and i think im starting to do good in chemistry again =) im understanding most of the things and i am able to answer questions mr. fowler asks. kudos!
and today i discovered a really funnyyyyyyy emoticon. 'eaea' XD hehe for those of you that know what it is certainly know what 'eaea' means XD
aiyooo eaea
well done to david and dickson huang XD hehehe for today's win =)
and hopefully the same for me on friday XD
calvinc
vA!et

seriously

2008-11-17T03:18:00.001-08:00

all those that are writing in the cbox with teachers' names stop it. its getting old and annoying
be mature and stop it

on a lighter note, my body aches soooo bad today. and my basketball today was...gg...and i think jack and i kinda realised how much shit we gotta do to pass ib that are due very soon. math test tmr...T.T hopefully the questions are not too crazy and einstein like.
hmmmm varsity basketball playing HIS tmr...glhf, kik their ass! XD
o and where are u? u know who u r =)
calvinc
vA!et

so close yet so far

2008-11-15T22:29:00.000-08:00

as a member of the jv bball team, i went to a bball tournament in hangzhou which lasted from 14-15 of Nov 08.
i would say, this year was a year of amends. last year, our team missed out on qualifying for the top bracket by losing out to SCIS in overtime by 1 point.
this year, with new blood in our team, we were determined to make amends.
14th Nov 08
first match: HIS
we were up against the host, and we had 15 minutes to warm up after a 4 hour bus ride. it was crazy. however, we were up 18-12 with 2 minutes to go before the end. a series of good teamplay and crazy defense saw us rising up against the physically taller, stronger opponents. nothing is impossible. they started fighting back as we started slacking. the score was 18-16 to us with 30 seconds to go. with 20 more seconds to go, the point guard scored an unbelivable fade away jumpshot from zero degrees.
we went to overtime. and during overtime, all i know was that the team morale was so low, that we gave up. we lost by 4 points i think, 20-24? im not sure, but holy shit, this was exactly like our game last year against SCIS. everyone was so depressed. we had it, so close yet so far.
throughout the match, i was given the most time to play, and it was obvious that the coach really believed in me, and was really impressed with my defending. i played 3 quarters straight, rested 2 minutes, then played the remaining of the 4th quarter, and most of the overtime.
dinner was mcdonalds...it was actually not bad...considering how long i havent ate mcdonalds.
the night we found out that if we won our next 2 matches, we would still be able to reach the finals. HIS has won 2 matches, and they need one more to qualify. the idea of meeting HIS in the finals really motivated us. frankly, i thought i was unbelivable later while we were having serious 3v3 at night. me, oscar and luke against coach lee, seong hoon and another person i forgot -.- i had to guard coach lee, and i have no idea how many times he scored in my face. but the truth is, i scored a few in his face too XD aiyooo
shower was a nightmare. the water was so freaking coldddddd! and there was no doors, only curtains. while i was waiting to shower, a guy just pulled open the curtain of a shower only to see a guy naked showering. i believe that was my fastest shower ever, trying to get our of the coldddd water and people pulling the curtains -.-
i called some1 later and i had a good time as the conversation was aiyooo...hahaha. except that shin and ken were acting like a bunch of perverts following me around making weird sounds and comments -.-
slping on the gym floor started out fun as everyone was high. but then things started to get outta hands. i got raped like 3 times by shin while on the phone, and i raped him back aiyooo. then coach hawkes came down and basically ask us to stfu or he will be the one that rapes us.
15th Nov 08
omfg...my whole body is damnnnnn sore. how the hell am i gonna play like that -.-
after more mcdonalds for breakfast...i kinda got sick of it -.-
second match: SUIS
we were all pumped up to kick this team's ass because we wanted to progress to the finals soo bad. turns out we did. 40-20. i scored 8 points, all layups =) i played 1st and 2nd quarter before getting much needed rest and then starting the fourth before we starters are given more rest for the next game.
3rd match:
right after SUIS, we were up against AIAN. the team looks pretty easy to beat, and whilst walking to the match, we were kinda happy that we are playing against such an 'easy' team. their team consists of 1 tall guy, and short guys. turns out we were wrong totally.
the tall guy, no.33 raped us so bad. our big men had such a tough time against him. the score was 12-20 as we enter the fourth quarter. although we did manage to pull it to 20-24, we lost 22-28
i guess my really good layup was my personal highlight. i dribbled past like 2 guys and scored over the tall guy. with a really nice fake at zero degrees. but other than that, it was damn embarrassing. we lost to a team that we thought we could beat due to our cockiness.
lunch came, and the school was selling burgers, hotdogs and stuff. the burger actually tasted good, but it was 20rmb for a small beef burger -.-
and whilst we were half way eating, we kinda found out that our next match is starting in 10 minutes -.- tats just crazy
4th match: FIS
it was freaking scary to play against this team. this team came really close against HIS as well, and they were physically way stronger and bigger than us. their guards were so accurate during warm ups. and their point guard, no.2 was really tricky. throughout the game, our team's really tough defense were able to shut their guards down totally, and they were limited to 7 points. At half time, the score was 11-7 to us. the starters took a rest, and things started to change. no.2 is now introduced to their team, and he was way too much for our second team to handle. they got to as close as 11-10, but then paul's 3 pointer got us up again. at 14-10 and 3 minutes to go, their team started fighting back. our big men, due to fatigue, started letting up rebounds. our guards (me too) started getting tired after playing 3 games straight, and letting their guards getting free shots. we lost by 2 points. 18-20. my god...our team really sucks at keeping a lead. so close yet so far. i scored a really nice layup, the nicest of all i believe. cant describe it but i was fouled whilst scoring. i missed the free throw though -.-
playoff for 3rd and 4th place: FIS
holy shit. we are up against the guys we just played! this match proved to be worse than the previous. we never led, and it was so obvious our team was a team of cripples. the starters and regular subs were dying. seonghoon was so tired that he nearly puked, oscar was dead, paul's left hand is broken, ken's foot is really painful, my ankle is really hurting. we didnt have the energy to fight against them, as they have a wealth of subs, whilst we dont. we lost 13-20? i think.
wat can i say. we came to make amends, but we ended up with more learning. i guess we know that our physical endurance needs to buckle up. i can see from my coaches eyes that they were really proud of us though. we fought towards the end and truth to be told, we were so close yet so far.

today's classes

2008-11-13T03:46:00.000-08:00

block 1 = free
block 2 = free
block 3 = movie
block 4 = free
aiyooooooooooooo
there is a god!

there was a freaking embarrassing incident in lunch -.- nvm lets not make me feel stupid here
englisih was damn intense...after watching othello and desdemona's hot sex on tv, me and david's eyes begin to flash aiyooo...it was....incredibly gay lol...even for my standards aiyooo
o and we, the jv bball team got assraped by varsity basketball team during practice. aiyooo i was having intense closing upon david the whole time...and he was topless too aiyooooo XD
the match was so freakin sad, and i took one shot XD dont ask if it went in @!#@!&^%!!@!!!
tmr ill be off to hangzhou for this tournament, and hopefully our team will win XD aiyooo sounding optimistic rite there...-.-
ill be sure to post abt the trip, and hopefully the win =) sounding optimistic again aiyooo -.-
calvinc
vA!et

threats

2008-11-12T05:56:00.000-08:00

(im trying not to use aiyooo in this post)
aiyaaa...lol...so tempted to use it...
today was alrite up until section b of the chemistry test. lets just say it was...bad. &^%$!!!!!!!
anyway...i got the grand prize in business. i was selected with 'pride' to present the LC1Go! Nestle Case. (what kinda name is that kinda product!?)
and all the time, joel that son of a ...mum was smirking at me. aiyooo T.T
UR TIME WILL COME
during lunch, i got into picasso mode, and created a perfect anatomy of the male body =)
that particular male had parts that reminded me of jack's (if u saw it then u know it XD)
and...noel heres one for u
I FIRE MYSELF FROM RECYCLING XD
another one to joel as a reminder
I FIRED MYSELF FROM BUSINESS SHOP XD
good good...friday is the day after tmr! aiyoooo so happy!! XD
SHIT! forgot about not saying, i quote 'aiyooo'
aiyaaa...
calvinc
vA!et

all good things come to an end - nelly furtado

2008-11-11T06:41:00.000-08:00

damn rite...all good things come to an end T.T
orgasms end and holidays end too (what kinda analogy is that -.-)
during this long break, i watched prison break. aiyooo that rhymed! XD
the break was a good rest for me, and rest i mean rest from dota =)
yet now as i look forward to tmr's skul (yeahh rite), it seems that much unknown lies ahead. college applications, predicted grades, relationships and friendships...i guess these are part of what makes a teenager special. with my life filled with such elements, my emotions took a battering from such unknown, but after this break from phillips, work and killing sprees, i feel much more recharged for the future.
omg...skul tmr!!! T.T
calvinc
vA!et

coldstone

2008-11-10T05:50:00.000-08:00

aiyooo
just came back from coldstone, and it was...ok lol
me, baobei david, crystal, tina, and huiting were there...=) turned out to be a time whereby i learnt so much about each one of them. not that i dont know everything about david already hehehe
to crystal, tina and huiting: aiyooooo, if u guys wanna hide hide properly lah aiyoooo hehehe
coldstone was giving out free ice cream so me and david do what we do best. we kept asking for the 免费ice cream hehe
and then...me and david started to talk about...'history' XD hehe. it was really touchy if u get wat i mean hehehe...crystal, tina, and huiting went crazy over there talking about guys and stuff aiyooo
aiyooo then they started to ask me and david about the cuteness of girls aiyooo joel was top ranked XD
aiyooo not a lot happened actually =(
aiyooo and then crystal's rich dad came in aiyooo
aiyooo and then she left =(
aiyooo and then...huiting and tina left lol...aiyooo =(
aiyooo and then david and i went to the dvd shop, where david spent like 5 hours choosing 7 dvds, constantly deciding which dvd he shud get...we kinda agreed on 'sex and the city' aiyooo XD
then we kinda got to drinking mode and dota mode, which equals to drinking while dotaing! hehe
which im gna do now hehe
calvinc
vA!et

aiyoooooo

2008-11-09T07:48:00.000-08:00

recently the word aiyooooo/aiyoyo/etc. has been used so often. aiyooooo, i really dont really know why i use it, but it sounds funny XD aiyoo! the word aiyooo is me and david my 宝贝's product, and the constant promoting of it in school has resulted in some pretty crazy usage of it.
at random times, out of the blue 'aiyoooo' will pop up! aiyoooo, teaching it is fun though =) hehe crystal is getting the hang of it XD corey's aiyoos are like the weirdest aiyooos u can get, and i guess me and david's aiyooos are the gayest, aiyoyoo!
anyways, looking forward to tmr's coldstone aiyooooo
hmmm, gna get tok mostly done b4 skul starts =) aiming for 36 without the extra 3 for ib predicted overall grade. therefore im gna plead and beg and blackmail teachers to give me my desired grade aiyooooo...
AIYOOO its 1.15AM!!! o nvm, im just awake early thats all XD
calvinc
vA!et

hell yea

2008-11-07T06:41:00.000-08:00

its friday!
physics test was...alrite...but i made way too many silly mistakes T.T ahhhh! typical me
basketball practice was sweet sixteen and footfire, both aka broken legs
tonite's plan originally was to get the hell out of skul asap, get home, change and get drunk
well, plans dont always work out do they?
instead, i cant believe i m writing this sober
yet things went surprisingly well
whoever created world of goo is sucking the life out of me. chapter 3 is a total pain. addicting though T.T
jack just reminded about our predicted grades, and i daresay i need to buckle up to get my desired ib predicted score. if i cant, then i must!
time to get the tsingdao from the fridge. ciao
calvinc
vA!et

double killed

2008-11-06T07:55:00.000-08:00

tmr is a long awaited day. for chemistry classmates, the day of vengeance has come for them to watch me sadistically, as i suffer from the chemistry test that i dodged for 1 week. tmr is also the day for physics test. double killed.
was today a productive day? i would say yes in many aspects =)
i was able to communicate extremely well with certain people hehe
hmmm i did not dota at all! although i did try out the red alert 3 and world of goo -.- still...no dota!
i guess revising for physics and chemistry can be rather PAINFUL, considering both subjects require intense focus. i mean, its kinda weird to be revising about ester bonds between acids and alcohols; then switching to calculating the gravitational potential force of an object T.T painful moments...
o well...at least everytime something bad comes, something good comes too. like i said, today's good thing was to be able to get to understand more of a person that i wanted to understand =)
crap! its 12+!!!!
PHYSICS AND CHEMISTRY HARDCORE REVISION!!!
calvinc
vA!et

progress

2008-11-04T17:40:00.001-08:00

hmmm...making progress towards my goal is smth to be reckon for.
so far everthing is going great, and i am beginning to slack blogging XD
this few days has been rather refreshing =) i begin getting to know ppl that i want to; and that feels pretty darn good <3
two more days till freedom, so hang on.
updates later
calvinc
vA!et

forgotten post

2008-11-02T22:34:00.000-08:00

omg! i forgot to post yesterday =(
i guess this is the make-up post for yesterday...
yesterday was rather painful. i have been suffering a lot from my shoulder pain. the pain is bearable, but undesirable. and it is constantly there throughout the whole day even when i was trying to slp! i went to a physiotherapist for his opinion, and he said the pain is caused by my long hours unmoving with tensed up muscles, and in my life there is two possible moments of such:
1) writing, doing hw for long hours
2) using the computer for long hours
to be honest, i would say the 2nd reason is the cause of all these. in fact, so much of my hw is typed up writing is becoming a strange sensation!
i will have to reduce my time using the computer to let the pain dissappear.
less time to msn
less time to dota
in a way, the pain is my final motivation to reduce my 'bum/P4' time. i guess i just have to do my best and believe in myself XD
woooooot! mr. farrow is askin me a question!
calvinc
vA!et

exposed

2008-11-01T08:51:00.000-07:00

hmmm...i think me cutting classes is exposed =( which is kinda a =) thing actually, cz now i cant cut class! recently many setbacks have been happening in my life, and resulted me in shutting myself outta the world...
but every intention of mine now is to follow the rules i have set upon myself [in the previous post] and not regret my life.
dota is fun, at the same time its damaging. to education, relationships, life. i cant live without it, but i can live with less of it.
anyways, things have been lighting up recently, when i begin to get the person i want in small steps <3 maybe things will light up soon enuf.
aite, time to dota. hey its saturday! XD
calvinc
vA!et

free!...free?

2008-10-31T02:38:00.000-07:00

wohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
friday night means freedom; freedom from school, tests and phillips XD
yet there is a part of me tats telling me that tat assertion aint true. and i know tats not true. bcz this week is totally wasted. i did not accomplish anything, skipped too many classes, played too much dota, stayed up too late; in conclusion, i screwed this week up.
i always think to myself that tomoro would be a new day, but i begin to think to myself there is always a tomoro. perhaps tats why i am able to delay taking the chem test until next week. sometimes i dun even recognise myself, and i truly m quite saddened by this attitude taking over my heart.
which is why rules need to set. discipline is smth u dun like but benefits u.
1) seriously no dota during weekdays
2) seriously no staying up later than 12 during weekdays
3) seriously no skipping any class at all next week
4) seriously do the above 3 rules
[note: weekdays doesnt include fridays XD]
as dec 13 approaches, i see myself having less time to finish all the overloaded work, and i need to finish it to be able to make coaching in iag fruitful. ps: cant wait for dec 13!!!
aite, since today is a friday, the above rules dont apply XD party on bitches!
calvinc
vA!et

sick

2008-10-29T18:04:00.000-07:00

thank god i m sick. chem test will be delayed till tomoro last class.
i have been rather weak recently, partly becz i hv bastkeball practices now. having had totally zero working out since august iag, the suicides nearly murdered me. [sounds ironic]
i guess even at times of weakness, there are people around u tat will still be there. like 我的宝贝 david hehe
no seriously. like my family have been truly helping me out, and one of the best parts of life is to be able to have their support.
so wat makes today special mmhh
its a new day
updates later =)
calvin
vA!et

Missed

2008-10-28T17:15:00.000-07:00

omg? missed the freaking bus!
so here i m bloggin. chem test later...i will do my best although i did not revise sufficiently zzz
finishing overdue business hw...wilkinsons is a pain damnit
i m setting some rules to contain the beast within myself:
1) no dota during weekdays
2) always remember rule one
sounds like warren buffet wannabe haha...but he didnt play dota =)
will update this later with scary info about the chem test
update:
apparently the test is tomorrow -.-
business hw finally done and teacher wasnt even in school today! T.T
aite...time to dota. I MEAN HW, HW! XP
calvin
vA!et

vA!et

2008-10-28T08:33:00.001-07:00

when u meet a person, it takes 4 sec for the 1st impression. tats when u realize wat kinda relationship u wanna hv with tat person; friend, foe, etc. i guess tats how crushes come by. they come by the 1st impression. but just like some impressions, they dont stay long. they dissappear, as do some crushes. when the crush doesnt dissappear though, u know u r in something deep. there is two possible explanations to this.
1. u r a stalker
2. u r in love
i guess i m in the latter category. and no the crush is not a guy. hopefully, tats ur 1st impression of me too.
serious business
omfg speaking of business. business hw gg
self introduction time. name is calvin, last name chan. calvinc
vA!et? continue reading my blog and u may find out.
o! stay tuned for Anatomy of Sex season 1. for more info., ask around

calvinc
vA!et